Rant of the day

It's a question that can go unanswered, but one always wonders if they make their partner really happy. As long as he is happy, I will be happy too. The opposite goes the same.

I snuck onto Chris's myspace again... reading his outbox messages and read one that caught my eye... it was a message to his ex "girl" about him not being good enough for her and that he was always love her, no matter what... it was early november this was written (when we first dated a couple of times) i mean, that's great that he broke it off with her but.... "he will ALWAYS love her"? she wasn't even his girlfriend... i dunno... it makes me suspicious.. and of course, i had to look at her volumptious boobs... >_> damn you... yes, it makes me jealous okay?? :P

supposedly, mines are getting bigger according to chris.

off topic there... well, I always wonder in the back of my mind... "Do I make him truly happy?" it makes me sick to actually think of him with another woman... :( if he ever broke my heart, i don't think i will ever find love again... it will make me sick, sick, sick. i will concentrate on myself instead... me, myself, and my future cat... lol.

was I destined to be a loner?? :/

why am I thinking like this though?? Apparently, I'm his future "wifey" and mother of his child. he says he can't leave me cuz of that fact but the truth is, he can... it's simple. i've seen it happen millions of times.

there's tons of cheaters in this world... i'm surprised i trusted this one (cuz he cheated before)

and i always said to myself: once a cheater, always a cheater... right?

...he broke my line of cheating...

i sincerely love him

i never want to hurt him

i never want to make him sad

i never want to make him mad

i never want him to be disappointed

i don't want him to go away... everytime he's gone (even for like 10 minutes to the grocery store), I want him with me...

it's rather strange but I enjoy my lone time... but with him, it's different.

haha. with Chris J, i always wanted him to leave.... and never come back.

thing is... i will always miss Chris J. he was a vast majority of my life, ya know?

why do marriages get complicated anyways? :(

so, that's my rant of the day.... thank you for ..reading? lol.